Here are seven ways to completely mess up a relationship:

 

Interrupt - prevent the other from expressing their communication.

Alter - restate what the other has said and implying they meant something else.

Refuse - Not accepting what the other says.

Accusation - saying that the other said, did or is something. (they already are somethinig. If you can't handle what they are then spend some quiet time getting used to it and think it over. Find a constructive way to reply, not critical or destructive.

Finish their sentences for them.  Even if you get it right you're still blocking their communication.  Just let it roll. Let there be 'time'.

Ignore - don't answer their questions. Also taking a really long time to get back to them will cause the same thing.

Misunderstand - unintentionally not get what the person meant. It will eventually be apparent to the other person that you did not duplicate and understand.

 

Here is one very good way to fix it up...

 

1. Ask the person what thoughts or considerations they have about the upset

2. LISTEN. Dont say anything until you have

1. Made a duplicate copy in your head of what they said.
2. Understand what they said. Even though this occurs in YOUR head, the other person will magically GET that you understood IF you  truly understood.  So do a good job on this.
3. Acknowledge. Tell them that you heard and understood what they said.

 

Thats all.  Listen, duplicate, understand and acknowledge. Nothing else.  All you're doing here is cleaning up a mess. You are not making your point of view clearer. You've already made it impossible for them to hear anything you say.

Now repeat #1 and #2 until the matter is cleaned up

 

If one were to move back to discussing the subject then:

1. Take as much time as needed to think of your reply. Keep the above wrong things out of your reply.  This usually takes a TON of work on your part. It gets easier the more you do it.
2. Reply.